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Respecting and Encouraging Others
Objective: Help youth understand that everyone needs to hear affirmation of their importance in the sight of God and for the work they do. Also give some specific ways to make working together work!
Scripture: Matthew 7: 12 (Have someone read this after the opening prayer.)
I. Introduction
Good morning boys and girls. Reggie isn’t a "trick" dog, but he does a few things that entertain the people we visit. I will show one you now.
(Have Reggie bow. Lavishly praise him and give him a treat.)
Do you think Reggie would do any tricks if I never praised him and never gave him any treats? (Response.) Probably not. Reggie enjoys being loved, praised and given treats. I think we all do!
II. Story
I am going to tell you a story this morning about a girl named Lucy. Lucy is an out-going, talented, smiling teenager. She is active in her church’s youth group. The group is planning a musical program for Easter. The adult leaders thought it would be good training to have one of the youth direct the musical. Lucy volunteered to be the teen music director.
At the first rehearsal, Lucy is all smiles as she gets up to direct the group. She has spent a lot of time selecting the music, deciding who will sing solos and getting ready for rehearsal. Everyone is talking at once and some of the kids are running around.
"O.K" Lucy says, "let’s settle down and get started. We have a lot to do."
One of the boys makes a face, "Let’s settle down," he mimics.
Then as the first song starts, another boy starts singing in a falsetto voice. Some of the others are text-messaging on their cells phones. Lucy’s smile begins to fade. Her voice changes from bright and cherry to irritated.
"Come on, everybody," she says, " we have work to do."
One of the girls whispers behind her hand to her friend about how "bossy" Lucy is. Needless to say the first rehearsal isn’t a great success.
Before the next practice session there is a lot of complaining among the kids about Lucy’s leadership. But everyone turns up for the second rehearsal. Lucy gamely gets up to direct. But some of the kids are playing games on their cell phones, whispering that Lucy doesn’t know what she is doing, singing off key, arguing about who will sing the solos and on and on.
"O.K" Lucy says trying to ignore the chaos around her, "Everybody needs to smile and sing out like you really mean it."
The kids put on silly grins and scream the words to the song. Lucy’s frown grows deeper, she yells to Susie that she isn’t singing in the right key. She tells Johnny that he really can’t sing at all – maybe he should have a speaking part.
Finally, Lucy says, "you really don’t want to have a musical program for Easter, and you really don’t have enough good voices to do it anyway" and she starts to cry and walks out.
III. Discussion
We are going stop the story there (for now) and form two groups, the "Lucy" group and the "Others" group. I would like for each group to think about what has happened up to this point in the story and discuss some questions. I will lead the discussion with the Lucy group and Kara will lead the discussion with the Others group. We will count off one, two, with the ones being in the Lucy group and the twos being in the others group.
Lucy Group: (Judy leads this group in meeting room)
- How did Lucy feel in the beginning of the story?
- How did Lucy feel in the end of the story?
- What made the difference?
- What could Lucy have done to have gotten the support of the group?
- Why didn’t she do that?
- Why is it important to give everyone some "say" in a project like this?
- How did the attitude of the "others" affect Lucy?
- How would you feel at this point if you were Lucy?
- Could the adult leader have done anything to prevent this situation?
- Can anything be done at this point to save the situation?
OTHERS GROUP: (Kara leads this group in the room across the hall.)
- Why did the attitude of the others toward Lucy change?
- Lucy was working hard to make the music program a success, why did no one help her?
- Was the group unkind to Lucy? Why?
- What was more important to the group, success of the propram or criticizing Lucy? Why?
- What could the others have done at the very first meeting that would have made the project work out better?
- Why did Lucy’s attitude change so much?
- How would you feel at this point if you were one of the others?
- Could the adult leader have done anything to prevent this situation?
- Can anything be done at this point to save the program?
(Reconvene the groups.)
Thank you for taking part in the discussion. You’ll have a chance for more discussion. But right now let’s pick up the story.
This is what happened next:
After Lucy stormed out the leader called the group together, "I want us to try something tomorrow," she said. "I want everyone to come in with a big smile on their face. And I want everyone of you to find something good to say to Lucy. You might thank her for putting up with you. You might compliment her in some way. You might promise to do better if she will continue to direct."
The kids began to grumble.
"Wait," the leader said, "Do you want to have an Easter musical? Let’s start over right now. Will you just try treating Lucy the way you would like to be treated?
O.K. You’re one of the "Others" group. How would you react to this suggestion? (Discussion.) What would you suggest?
What do you think would happen if everyone came in the next day with a smile on their face. What if they started complimenting Lucy, thanking her for the good things she had done. What if they started to cooperate instead of trouble-make? What do you think would happen to Lucy? How would she react? Do you think part of her "meanness" was because of how the others treated her? (Discussion.)
Do you think they would have treated her better if she had included them in the planning process? If she had been less domineering? (Discussion.)
Lucy group, how would you react to if the others suddenly started cooperating and being nicer to you? (Discussion.) Can you ever "undo" hurtful acts or words? (Discussion.)
Do you think the leader could have saved the situation by talking with Lucy after the first practice about her leadership style? Do you think she should have also talked to the others right after the first session? (Discussion.)
So who was at fault in all of this? (Discussion.)
Everyone! Nobody was treating anybody else the way they would want to be treated! (Read Matthew 7:12) Would someone in the "Others" group describe what Lucy was doing wrong as the youth choir director? (Discuss.) Do you think Lucy would like to be treated this way? (Discuss.) Would someone in the "Lucy" group describe how the others were acting in the first part of the story. (Discuss.)
IV. Conclusion
When we don’t respect each other, when we act like we think we know it all, when we don’t communicate honestly and directly, when we don’t do our share of the work, when we make snide remarks and hurtful comments about others, we are NOT treating others the way we want to be treated.
Just as Reggie works better when he gets praise, appreciation and treats, people need this kind of "rewards" too. The story of Lucy is a little exaggerated, but in different degrees it happens all the time (and not just with kids!) We fail to live up to the "Golden Rule" when we treat others this way. And we fail to obey what Jesus said about loving our neighbor as ourselves.
You all did a terrific job this morning. A program like this won’t work at all unless you participate. And you did! THANK YOU!
Prayer: Give us the eyes to see the good that others do and the heart to praise them for it. Help us to treat others as we would like to be treated. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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